For many people, the holiday season brings warmth, celebration, and connection. For survivors who have recently left an abusive relationship, this time can feel complicated. Traditions from past years may stir up difficult memories, and the pressure to feel joyful can feel distant.
At RESPOND, we see these experiences every day. We walk alongside survivors as they rebuild traditions, create new memories, and find moments of peace.
A New Holiday Tradition: Alyssa’s First December on Her Own
Alyssa was connected with RESPOND’s Community Intervention and Education program this fall. It was her first holiday season since leaving a relationship that had chipped away at her confidence. When she met with her counselor, she shared that she didn’t feel like celebrating at all. Holidays in her past had been controlled, monitored, and overshadowed by tension.
One afternoon in November, she mentioned that she used to love baking as a child. She had warm memories of making cookies with her grandmother. With encouragement from her advocate, Alyssa decided to take a small step.
She bought a mixing bowl. She picked three recipes. She invited two friends over. And for the first time, she hosted a simple baking night in her apartment, decorating cookies with people who made her feel comfortable.
“It wasn’t fancy,” she said. “But it felt like mine.”
That sense of ownership is a powerful marker of healing. For many survivors, rebuilding life after abuse begins with small, joyful acts. At RESPOND, we’re honored to be part of those moments.
Tips for Navigating This Season After Leaving Abuse
Here are some grounding strategies our counselors often share:
-
Set your own pace. You don’t have to step into holiday cheer. It’s okay to celebrate differently or not at all.
-
Celebrate yourself. This season can be a time to acknowledge your strength, growth, and moments of self reclamation from the past year.
-
Choose who you spend time with. Be with people who make you feel safe and supported, even if that circle is small.
-
Create new traditions. They can be simple and meaningful.
-
Build emotional “escape routes.” If gatherings feel overwhelming, plan for breaks. Fresh air, a short walk, or a quick call to a friend can help. Have a plan to leave early if you need to.
-
Name your boundaries. Declining invitations or limiting time with certain people protects your well being.
-
Reach out when you need support. RESPOND’s advocates are available for safety planning, emotional support, and resources throughout the season.
You’re Not Alone
Whether you’re celebrating, taking things slowly, or rebuilding your holiday traditions, your experience is valid. Healing doesn’t follow a calendar, and there is no single way to move through this season. RESPOND is here to stand with you, now and into the new year.
If you need support, call RESPOND at (617) 623-5900 (9 to 5, Monday through Friday).
