Traditionally, Valentine’s Day emphasizes grand romantic gestures, candlelit dinners, and heart-shaped everything. While there’s nothing wrong with celebrating romantic love, this narrow focus can leave many people feeling excluded, whether they’re single, in non-traditional relationships, healing from past experiences, or simply honoring other meaningful connections in their lives. Instead of limiting love to one definition, let’s celebrate its many forms.
Rethinking Traditional Valentine’s Day Messages
Mainstream narratives often portray romantic love as life’s ultimate goal, reinforcing unrealistic expectations through movies and advertisements filled with extravagant gestures. While meaningful for some, this can create pressure or feelings of exclusion (Greater Good Science Center, 2020).
Love isn’t one-size-fits-all. Romantic relationships are just one part of a much bigger picture—friendships, family, self-love, and community bonds deserve recognition, too.
Expanding the Definition of Love
Instead of limiting Valentine’s Day to traditional romance, consider using the holiday as an opportunity to celebrate love in ways that are authentic to you:
- Self-Love– Taking time for yourself is a powerful act of love. Whether it’s indulging in a favorite hobby, treating yourself to a spa day, or simply acknowledging your own worth, self-love should be an essential part of any Valentine’s celebration (Psychology Today, 2019).
- Friendship Appreciation – Friends are the family we choose. Ever heard of Galentine’s Day? It’s a term originally created by the TV show Parks and Recreation, highlighting the importance of friendships, but you don’t need an official event to show appreciation. A simple note, a shared meal, or a small gesture can remind your friends how much they mean to you.
- Family & Community Love – Valentine’s Day can be a wonderful time to reconnect with family members, express gratitude to mentors, or engage in acts of kindness within your community. Volunteering, donating to a cause, or checking in on loved ones can add deeper meaning to the day (National Institute on Aging, 2023).
- Love in Action – Love isn’t just about words; it’s about actions. Consider spreading love through kindness—whether it’s writing affirmations for coworkers, sending a thoughtful message to someone who might need it, or simply being present for those who matter most to you.
A Note for Survivors of Domestic Violence
For those who have experienced or are currently navigating domestic violence, Valentine’s Day can be a difficult reminder of unhealthy relationships or past trauma. It’s important to remember that love should be safe, supportive, and empowering. If this holiday brings up difficult emotions, consider spending time with trusted friends, engaging in self-care, or seeking support from RESPOND. (Our Support Line – (617) 623-5900)
You are not alone, and you deserve love that respects and uplifts you.
Reinventing Valentine’s Day for Yourself
Reframing Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean ignoring romance entirely—it just means broadening its scope. Whether you’re in a relationship, single, or somewhere in between, you get to define what this holiday means to you. Love is about connection, care, and appreciation, and it comes in countless forms.
This year, let’s move beyond the traditional Valentine’s Day narrative and celebrate love in all its beautiful, diverse expressions. After all, love isn’t just about one person—it’s about the many ways we show up for each other, lift each other up, and make life a little more meaningful.
How will you reclaim Valentine’s Day this year?
Sources:
- Greater Good Science Center. (2020). The Science of Love and Relationships. Retrieved from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu
- Psychology Today. (2019). The Power of Self-Love. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com
- National Institute on Aging. (2023). The Benefits of Community and Social Connections. Retrieved from https://www.nia.nih.gov
